Single Mum - Summer Sun

Are you savouring every joyous second of the school term before the seemingly endless summer holidays begin, or are you excitedly planning with military precision how you will spend every minute of the next six weeks?

Me, I think I fall somewhere in the middle. I am a single SAHM with a 5 year old, a 4 year old and a two year old. A typical day, as in households everywhere, is full of structure, routines, stress and lateness in the daily battle that is getting out the door to school. So for me the thought of six whole weeks of holiday, is just that, a holiday!

One of the reasons I love the holidays so much is because I actually get to spend some time with the children, and it's not that rushed eat your breakfast and get dressed kind of time, its actual time. Term time is so much about structure and routine, and then as a single mum, the kids spend at least one day with their dad at the weekend, so I don't get to do a whole lot of the enjoying, just the mundane. So I love the summer holidays....

There is just so much fun waiting to be had, as a single mum there are some limitations, but also a whole bag of benefits. I see the limitations as obstacles to be overcome, and I'm also well aware that a lot of these issues are not limited to single mums, but by any stay at home parent whose counterpart is off at work.

Actually going away on holidays is by far and away the biggest issue for me. There is no way I could physically have taken the children by myself, with three children under five, the luggage, and the pram - even just the airport would have been a logistical nightmare. Swimming with them, would have been horrendous. Anytime anyone needs a wee - which let's face it is a fairly regular occurrence with little ones - would have required us all too go. I would then have spent the evening sat in, listening to the hustle and bustle of the restaurants while the children slept. All in all it would have been like home, only I'd have just paid several thousand for changing the backdrop.

And what of day trips? The thought of a trip to Legoland without an extra pair of hands just seems futile. Half the rides my little man can't go on, so what do I do, just not let the others enjoy them? It's a bit like Chinese torture, 'hey guys, look at that sparkly exciting ride with all the laughing kids on, yep that's right, you can't go'. I'm not even allowed to take them swimming by myself, health and safety and all.

So with military precision I have booked up several day trips per week, the usual; Legoland, zoos, aquariums, trips to London.... but I have lined up grandparents or childless friends to be my counterpart for the day, therefore making it possible, and let's not forget, infinitely more pleasurable.
 I never knew, but three children  really are so much more than two. But I do love the summer....

The thought of long lazy summer days, the sound of the children splashing and shrieking in chorus in the pool I had so thoughtfully filled first thing to allow it to warm up nicely through the day. The smell of the bbq's that will fill the air, I will get out the paddling pool, and the kids will have an amazing time splashing about before running through the house, slipping on the tiled floor - because they just never will learn to wipe their feet no matter how many times I tell them - they will simultaneously bring in the equivalent of their own body weight in sand and grass and meticulously traipse it through the whole entire house.

I will do it as it's a rite of passage, and on a really hot day, you might even find me lurking in there too. In amongst this mess and chaos is pure childhood pleasure. We will pitch our tent in the garden and build our camp and spend the next three days there if that's what  we fancy, we are free spirits, are not tied to anyone else's needs  times or demands, one of the many perks of being a single parent family. We will eat picnic after picnic out in the garden, and I will eat only their left overs, with no thoughts to making sure there's a proper meal for when daddy gets in from work, as he doesn't come in from work to us anymore. We can stay up late and watch the stars from our tent and sleep in late in the morning because we are not tied to anyone, so we have a free will.

We will go out on a bike ride when really they should be going to bed, just because it's fun and they think it's all the more exciting because everyone else is in bed (or so I've told them), again I have no one waiting at home who needs to be considered. And if we want to come back dirty kneed an hour later than planned to a house that looks like a bombs gone off, then so be it, because today I choose being the good cop instead of the usual keeping on top of everything cop, and that's ok, because I don't have to consider anyone else.

So to be fair, for as many obstacles as I have as a single parent, I have freedom and choices in equal measure. It is what it is. And so, we will eek out every last moment of pleasure, and squeeze out every last drop of the summer sun before the kids are off back to school, and so the cycle will continue.

I can't wait!!

Read more about the experiences of being a Single Parent on The Mother of all Guilt.